New 3rd year blog and summer ness

Soooo its 3rd year which means I have to start a new blog just for 3rd year stuff. But never fear I will still keep you up to date with everything here and on the tumblr equivalent! Let me start you off by telling you about my awesome summer, which I think was rather interesting!

Me and dad outside the main house - Calke Abbey

Firstly I went to Calke Abbey in Derbyshire, which was a real treat. I absolutely love history and used to visit places like this all the time when I was younger and its something I miss doing. I was particularly interested in Calke Abbey for the efforts that the National Trust have put in to keep it in the exact same condition that it was given to them in. When it was given to them 1985 the house was in a serious state of neglect. The estate tells a fascinating story of the decline of country estates as time goes on and modern life as we know it creeps in. These beautiful houses are so impractical for modern life these grand spaces were built for a staff of at least a hundred and as society changed there was no need for them and it became impossible to keep them running.
It's fantastic work that they do, it actually takes a lot of work to keep the house frozen in time the way it is and it's really interesting to see. I have never seen a house like it has such an obvious story to tell and as you walk through the rooms you can see the different periods of times that the house has been through and how it has struggled to adapt.
And theres not just the house to see either, the grounds are interesting too, theres a church, gardens, out houses, stables and a grotto. I would recommend that you go and see it for yourself but I believe the house is shut for the winter as it is incredibly hard to heat. Which leaves me with a slight problem, I was considering doing this house for my FMP (Final Major Project) I was so utterly charmed by it I could resist the idea of re creating it myself!
If I were to attempt it I would have to get in contact with the national trust or at least the team that runs it so I can gain access. I'd need to take a ton of pictures for reference but last time I was there they said I could take as many as I like. I can't see it being too much trouble but I would have to see.

After that I spent some time in London meeting all sorts of interesting people. It was around that time in the summer where its was ridiculously hot, even more so in congested London! First I went to meet Sophia Coney again and see how her new job in the capital was fairing. I had a great time catching up and afterwards we went for drinks with all her co workers. I felt ever so grown up in London having after work drinks with a bunch of people in the industry. It was really nice to be around these guys they were all so genuine, it was really comforting in a way, sometimes I feel that the course can be so dramatic and that some of the people on it can be so self involved and ignorant it can put me off the industry all together. But after that I felt like I could fit in and that the industry was full of actual people and not ego boosting students. I could really see myself working for a company like that. The employee's seemed pretty happy and thats always encouraging. Every time I see Sophia I feel like I can achieve stuff, I feel inspired and like I'm not crazy for wanting to do something different. Sometimes I feel so isolated on the course for wanting to do something else, I feel very misunderstood and on the outside. But in a way thats okay, I feel like I have my eye on the bigger picture and I need to work to my strengths.
Anyway it was a good experience, after that I met up with some international Internet friends! I stayed in a hostel with a bunch of girls from around the world and it was great. After not really having a summer last year as I was catching up after my illness, this year I wanted to make the most of it! after all it would be the last summer I would get. Call it seizing the day or whatever.  It was really interesting from a career point of view though, now stay with me on this.
I met Cameron Parker again that day (I hope he won't mind me talking about this). The first time I met him back in February 2013 he gave off the best first impression ever. He was so enthusiastic, warm and friendly I felt like I had known him my whole life, he managed to make everyone feel welcome and comfortable and there was a lot of people there that night. I couldn't help but think that this was a ridiculous talent of his and that this must be what they call a people person. Then when I met him again he was exactly the same he even remembered my name which is amazing considering the amount of people he must meet. As the day progressed I began to realise why the company he worked for was so successful. A lot of it was down to him and his skill set; his job is in marketing but he is essentially the designers right hand man and I can see why. He is well organised, friendly, warm he makes people feel like they are part of something special and when everything seems to be falling into chaos he does the most amazing thing and smiles. Not only does he do all this but he also runs his own company on the side. I find him pretty inspiring and he has opened my eyes to what I can do with my own skills. So thank you Cam

Me the girls and James Lillis in St James's Park

Outside Buckingham Palace with the girls

After all that excitement I got a promotion at work. I'm now a supervisor, which is good. I mainly just want as much as experience as possible. Any opporuntunity that comes along I want to grasp, I'm just trying my best to build up a good set of experience that may one day lead to a job I enjoy. I'm taking as much responsibility and training as I can handle and I hope that all this will make me more employable. After all I have so many balls in the air I think that kind of proves I can multi task and manage my time efficiently! Even if it sometimes gets a little much. Either way it's something for my CV not everyone can say they are a third year student and a supervisor running the store on their weekends.

I also took the time to do some touristy stuff in the summer and went back to London and visited my old flatmate down south. I visited a few beautiful sites such as Windsor castle, Longleat House Westminster Abbey and Eton College.

Eton College

Westminster Abbey

So for the great finale of my awesome summer I went on holiday to Barcelona with my other half. It was really nice to get away somewhere warmer, but don't think for one second that I was just relaxing. I couldn't help myself, what's the point just lying around on the beach when there's so much to see and do! So much culture and history. Is it terrible that I had so much fun planning everything I wanted to do? I think I managed to fit quiet a lot in. Yet again its that whole thing that I can't just let opportunities go by (which I think is a good quality), I mean who says I will ever be there again I might as well make the most of it.
Now don't you worry I'm not going to go through what I did day by day, I'll just give you the best bits!

The highlights for me were mostly incredible sights. First one being the top of Montserrat the whole thing was just incredible. I was really rewarding to climb part of it too, its not something I ever imagined doing. But I'm really glad I did.
The monastery there was absolutely stunning, it was pristine with some of the most beautiful vistas imaginable. I always have this strange conflict when I go to places like this though, places of religion. I always think of how beautiful the buildings are but then I think of what conflict and pain religion has caused and it makes it bitter-sweet. I had the same feeling at the Vatican, especially when I found that the building materials had been "recycled" from the Colosseum if only we could have kept both. Although I still appreciate their beauty and historical significance. I always think that if I could go back and do a different degree I'd do ancient history or the history of art.

View of the peaks from the monerstary in Montserrat, rather pround of this one 

Me near the very top of the peak, I was a little nervous after almost stumbling

  The other highlight for me was the La Sagrada Familia. It was actually magical and I never use that word. I couldn't believe my eyes! From the outside it is beyond impressive but then you step inside and are transported to another world. If I had to describe it honestly I'd say its like some Disney princess castle on magic mushrooms. It's so heavenly and beautiful but then its also twisted and distorted; it is a work of art! I don't think there is or will be anything like it; and to think that Gaudi in visioned all of this in his day its truly inspiring. I would recommend everyone to go and see this with your own eyes as it is absolutely breathtaking.

Outside the familia, damn cranes ruining my shot

Inside looking up at the celing deatils they were mind blowing

The colours bleeding in from the widows were unreal

Once I had returned from Barcelona I had to prepare myself go go back to reality which was a bit depressing but oh well.
First thing I did when I got back was board a train to London in order to attend the Women in Games Jobs conference. I was so anxious about this as I had in visioned it to be  this really intimidating event, full of people pushing and shoving to be heard. I had tried to prepare myself the best I could I had had business cards made and made myself look as presentable as possible but I was still super nervous.
But once I had got there I had found it to be the exact opposite, I felt right at home amongst these people as they were so helpful and welcoming. I don't know why but I always feel like I stick out like a sore thumb because in the end I got on with everyone and made some contacts and more importantly learnt a great deal. It was really interesting to hear what these industry professionals had to say about their work and how they see the industry. It was also encouraging to see that many of them are pushing for change and encouraging people like me to take a chance on myself and have some confidence. One of the statistics that stood out for me is that studies showed that a male is more likely to apply for a job if they only had 3 or 4 out of 10 of the desired criteria but a female would hold back on applying until they had all 10! That rings so true for myself! I think as a female I often put myself down and see others as being more capable even if they probably aren't. The whole conference made me feel less isolated and alone listening to what others had been saying made me realise that all of these inspiring and successful people had once been in my shoes and had felt the same. This comforted me somewhat. I felt really positive after returning from the conference as it seemed that there were more people willing to help me as I originally thought. I tried to savour this thought as I knew I would feel less positive when I returned to uni once again.

Over the summer I had done some leisurely painting work and studies but not a lot of 3D work and any that I had done, I had lost momentum and not finished. If I'm honest it's hard for me to be super passionate about producing stuff for my artist portfolio as I don't actually want to be an artist anymore. It feels a bit redundant especially when I get myself so wound up about it; it can get a bit much with all the hounding competition and cock swinging that goes on. I just want to do stuff that makes me happy and sometimes 3D just makes me miserable. Sorry but it does, I don't want to pretend that I want to be the worlds greatest 3D modeller or texture artist because I don't and I'm not a false person.It's a bit of a kick in the teeth that I find this out after 2 years on the course but that's life unfortunately; I will try my best to complete this work and finish the course. But I have my eye on something else, something that I'm better suited to and I will excel at. I think since day 1 on the course I had the underlying felling that I wasn't going to get anywhere at this, at the time I thought it was just a crisis of confidence but I tried my best and it's time to face it, its not for me. BUT I can take what I have learnt and apply it to something I am good at and something I have a passion for, Which is exactly what I am planning on doing.

Here's a piece I enjoyed doing over the summer, it came about after watching the entire 2 series of the BBC's "Sherlock" in a relatively short space of time.

Benedict Cummberbatch painting I did in the summer for fun

Thanks for paying attention this entire time! I realise now how long this post actually is and why I split it up on the other blogs!

End of year two reflection

So I've kind of been putting this off as it means acknowledging that my second year is over and I'm fast approaching my third and final year of university (waaaa, I don't want to leave!).
Its sad for me as I feel like this has all gone too fast, I just want to soak it up and enjoy it but I feel like I have been to busy to do so. Grrrr isn't time a tricky thing?
Looking back over this year I have came a long way and I have accelerated my rate of improvement which was one of my main aims for this year. I think the reasons for this were quiet clear. For one I put more time into my work and had a better attitude towards it. Another is I finally began to understand stuff better I felt like I wasn't fighting anymore (well I was fighting and awful lot less), I started to enjoy doing the work so much more hence my reluctance for it to end. This being said it doesn't mean I haven't made my fair share of mistakes. However my mistakes have meant I have been able to overcome stuff, I try to look at them as a positive thing now.
My whole uni experience has been better this year. I have experience more of the stuff I should have last year. I have enjoyed myself, I have mixed a bit more and I have met some incredible people. I have even changed my career aspirations. I feel like I have found a good balance. I'm hoping I can make the same kind of jump next year too. If I do I might be able to graduate with a decent grade.
My grades are one thing that I'm not particularly happy about I mean they have improved so much since last year and I should be happy with that but its still not enough for me. There's always been a lot of pressure on me to do well as I have been a high achiever my whole life. But here things have been different and I've found myself getting marks lower than originally anticipated. I fully realise now why that is and that I will never be able to get what I wanted. But i can do the best with what I have now. Perhaps I was being unrealistic before.
I'm looking at this year as an overall positive experience. A lot has changed but this time its all good. I look at last year as my year of the Phoenix. I crashed, burned and rose again. This year I have adapted and grown. I've found myself to be a lot pragmatic this year, I've dealt with everything much better. I'm also feeling a bit more professional and confident in the way I present myself.
Looking forward I'm reluctant towards starting the third year as I have realised I'm not entirely suited to this course anymore and I feel like its going to be painful to try and do a FMP that will suit me. But oh well. No regrets.
As for the summer I have already made lots of plans. I can feel time slipping away so I'm going to make the most of it. I'm going to London to meet loads of new people again (I've always been good at that), me and my dad are going on lots of trips to national trust sites (with our sketch books) and I'm going to Barcelona! I'm also going to buy a nice new camera and set up a new blog for my personal hobbies and such. All of which I'm really excited for. I'm also going to bring back the speed paint a week project but increase it to at least two a week. I'm going to pratice some 3D and I'm considering making my concept for for the group project on my own but we will see :)

From generalist to specialist, career buling or life changing?

Well this task is meant to be all about what roles there are in the industry and where I want to fit in right? and about the skills I've obtained and which I find more important and relevant?
Let me paint you a little picture. (we are going to go slightly off task here, but stay with me, there is a reason for this) On my first week at university I saw a poster whilst in the estates building that said something along the likes of "are you alone in a crowd" and I thought well yeah but isn't everyone? turns out not really. I find that I'm different to people in a way that I thought was a hindrance but it turns out it might be my salvation.
Talking to various people in the past few months I've been told I have rare people skills. which felt strange to me, I have never considered the way in which I talk to people and the way I am could be considered a skill. I'm glad now that I have stuck to my guns and stayed the way I am. I have been told I have a high EI which means emotional Intelligence. According to people from industry this is rarer than you think. After doing a little research into it I have learnt a great deal about it. It's basically the ability to identify, assess, and control the emotions of oneself, of others, and of groups. From there it goes into different theories and such but I was interested in how it related to "The Big Five Personality Traits" which is a psychology thing and something that some businesses use for interviewing candidates. They are-

• Openness to experience – Openness reflects the degree of intellectual curiosity, creativity and a preference for novelty and variety a person has. It is also described as the extent to which a person is imaginative or independent, and depicts a personal preference for a variety of activities over a strict routine. Some disagreement remains about how to interpret the openness factor, which is sometimes called "intellect" rather than openness to experience.
• Conscientiousness – . A tendency to show self-discipline, act dutifully, and aim for achievement; planned rather than spontaneous behaviour; organised, and dependable.
• Extraversion – Energy, positive emotions, surgency, assertiveness, sociability and the tendency to seek stimulation in the company of others, and talkativeness.
• Agreeableness –  A tendency to be compassionate and cooperative rather than suspicious and antagonistic towards others. It is also a measure of ones' trusting and helpful nature, and whether a person is generally well tempered or not.
• Neuroticism –  The tendency to experience unpleasant emotions easily, such as anger, anxiety, depression, or vulnerability. Neuroticism also refers to the degree of emotional stability and impulse control, and is sometimes referred by its low pole – "emotional stability".

Thanks wiki ;)
Anyway I found that these traits were things I could relate to. Looking back over my decisions that led me to where I am today its was almost as if unconsciously I was preparing myself to fit these things.
Getting back to back to the subject (yayy) I suppose you could call this a "soft skill" its not exactly a specialist skill, it doesn't really make me a pro at anything. I think the most frustrating thing about it is the fact I can't really put it on my C.V either. It only really comes across in person. That's the difference between "hard skills" and "soft skills" on paper hard skills can get you anywhere but in reality (well in my opinion) its the soft skills that make you a somebody. Whats the point having all these fantastic skills if you can't communicate them properly to your team. I think in order to function properly in most work places you will need some soft skills.
I am jealous of these hard skills everyone seems to have a lot of as they are easy to measure. But I wouldn't swap them for what I have. And after meeting Sofia I feel like these skills I have will help me get to where I want to be in the industry.

I really feel suited to management now that I think of it, I have always been able to take the lead and I thinking back I've always done a good job. I am definitely a people person and feel that I mostly come across to people in the right way. I've always felt comfortable in front of both large and small groups of people as well as when I'm on my own. And because of drama I have pretty good presentation and communication skills. I don't mind being the middle man and helping people to communicate with each other (certainly did a lot of that in the group project). I'm also strange in the way that I enjoy meetings and admin work. Correspondence isn't a problem for me either. I find myself most agreeable to the duties of a manager of producer. If i could also have a creative input that would be great, I have heard that the higher up you go the more input you get. I can see where I'd fit in and I'm comfortable with the responsibility I would have there. I'm also pretty good at multi tasking (you have NO IDEA :P), delegating and carrying a lot more weight on my shoulders than the job entails. Everyone says that it was an obvious choice, ahaa I wish they had told me years ago.

I have a slight idea of how I'm going to get there but I've found in life theres hardly ever a straight path to anything. I'm just going to carry on the way I am for now, working hard, networking and taking any opportunity I get to manage and organise anything. I'm going to keep looking into different types of management and management techniques to try and get ahead. But at the moment I see myself suited to community/ social media management, Assistant producer, producer, Production assistant and possibly a Outsourcing artist or outsource manager. All of these were recommended to me; and after looking into them I could see myself enjoying these jobs. After all isn't this why I'm working so hard? So I can get a job I can enjoy? :)

Well onwards and hopefully upwards

So I handed my all of my visual design in on Monday and I’m not sure how I feel about it to be honest. I worked really hard and tried my best but I’m not really satisfied with the work that was completed :/ I feel like I have let myself down a bit even though I tried my hardest. I don’t know its all very confusing. Even though I now know I want a career in management I still can’t help but want to be a good artist too. I suppose its a good thing, but merrr, feel like I’ll never get there at the moment.
Anyway I’m just getting on with everything else now for Game production. After that I’ll probably do some of my own painting and try to make the most of my summer.
Sorry for the negativity I’m in a bizarre mood today to say the least. Here’s my moonshine final. I kind of like it but it needed a little more time I think.

The evil brick wall

So it feels like I have been working non-stop for months now, (in reality it has probably only been six weeks). But i feel like my body has just had enough. I have been getting such bad headaches even though I'm hydrated and well rested. I'm still trying to push it but honestly it is hard work.
Still I've managed to get quiet a bit done today. Today I have refined my Leicester final. Re-did my War of the worlds final (so much happier with it now) and sorted most of my Mortal engines development (before it was a bit slap-dash). I've still got a few bits to do so I've just got to keep pushing, luckily with these most of my prep work is done.


I also submitted my application for the internship at Lockwood. I have mixed feelings about it especially since seeing other peoples work. But hey I tried my best in the time I had and hopefully my cover letter and C.V will help. I also feel that my portfolio might be a little better, but then again I don't know all of the competition.
I've also been constantly updating my portfolio and Linkedin as well. I've also done some research into what makes a good portfolio but I'll tell you about that some other time.
I need to sleep now, I'm so exhausted.But hey back on it tomorrow, I'm a little solider ;) AHAHAHAA that's me :P

Hi again

So I have been rather quiet I know. I know. I've just been so busy I've hardly had time to take a breather. So whats new?
The group project is over, thank Christ. Although it was a rather stressful time I have mixed feelings about it coming to an end. I did really enjoy working with certain people and it was great to help them learn new skills and grow as artists. I am proud of the work that we did and feel that we could not have produced work to the same quality if we had worked separately. I feel that overall the project was a success, although I can't help but regret the way things were left with certain team members.(I'm sure this will come up in team evaluation) However I realise if I want a career in management I'll have to let this go. Being a manager sometimes means that you will be hated and bitched about because some people just hate being told or even asked what to do. Theres nothing you can do about this, you just have to get on with the job at hand and make sure the project is done to the best it can be and on time.

All this said I am glad that I can have some time to get on with my own work now.
I've done some more brand ambassador work, which was fun, in fact it always is. It just confirms to me that I'm meant to be on the people side of things. I just really enjoy working with lots of different people. I love problem solving and being face to face with everything.
I've built up some contacts and started a LinkinIn, this might be old news for some but I recently updated it too. I've tried getting in contact with some old contacts too but we will see how it goes. I have a bit of a defeatist attitude about it at the minute as I tried searching for myself and had to go through 5 pages of Megan Rice's before finding me... I was even after my sister! SHE HAS A DIFFERENT NAME TO ME AND STILL COMES UP BEFORE ME! oh well I tried.
uk.linkedin.com/pub/megan-rice/69/508/196/
anddd I've finally regained a healthy diet and sleeping pattern.
Now all of this has been achieved I've got a little to do list on my hands.
1. Finish my Visual Design
2. Build my scene in UDK using all the assets I made for the group project.
3 Update my portfolio with said work.
4. Finish art test for apprenticeship (this one is first in priority order)

Meeting Sophia Coney

So I've been so tied up with work recently I haven't had chance to update you on some pretty cool stuff thats happened recently.
A few weeks ago I had an informal meeting with Sophia Coney, Director of Publishing and Operations at Lockwood Studios. Now its been a while since I met someone important so I was crapping myself a bit. Okay a lot.
http://www.sophiaconey.com/
http://www.linkedin.com/in/sophiaconey
http://www.mcvuk.com/news/read/the-top-100-uk-women-in-video-games/0112138
But there was no need! I had a great time and she was so warm and friendly, I felt totally relaxed. As much as I had a great night and I got to meet someone pretty cool; an important thing happened for me.
Listening to what Sophia had to say I realised what I really wanted to do. Career wise obviously, I could see myself doing some of the jobs she was describing to me and to me it felt like I wasn't lost anymore. I felt like I'd found something to focus on and build towards. I mean I had always had an idea but I felt like perhaps that role I wanted was just a figment of my imagination? Or perhaps I thought I didn't stand a chance? I sometimes feel that my skills are not as valuable. But talking to Sophia (and Mike later) I realised that my skills are kind of rare and I do have a chance if I market myself properly. Which is just in time really as we are getting towards the end of the second year and I'll have to start planning for my FMP soon. It's strange really I feel like I've only just began to settle in and yet I'll be planning the end of my degree soon :(
I feel like since our talk I have had a huge burst of energy and I now have a goal. I feel like my eyes have been opened to all these things I didn't know about before. I think on our course you are only exposed to a certain set of job roles in the industry, which I am probably not suited to. But Sophia has given me some things to look into and research which I am. I have already trialed some of these techniques in my team meetings in the group project. Which went well :)
I wish I could have had this meeting one week prior to the group project then I wouldn't have let things slide that have :/ I would have structured things differently too. But hey theres still time to fix stuff :)
I feel like I can finally push my way through all the negativity on my course, put my blinkers on and work towards what I want.
Thank you so much Sophia :)